Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2
Do Not Conform to Gripe and Gossip
Change Happens
Dealing with sudden changes is an inevitable part of teaching that is not addressed in teacher preparedness programs: at least it wasn’t part of mine. It is, however, one of the many unspoken, learn-as-you-go lessons with which every teacher must contend. Whether it comes in the form of changes in student behavior or changes in administrators’ decisions, teachers deal with sudden changes every day. That’s one of the most challenging parts of the job to manage, and it can quickly become the most frustrating.
Unfortunately, we often deal with our challenges and frustrations by sharing them with anyone who will listen. Venting frustration is not inherently wrong, but it can quickly become a problem. Proverbs 30:33 says this, “ For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.” (NIV)
Don’t Churn the Cream
Like the sudden change that frustrates us, our venting can quickly go from expressing frustration and moving on, to churning cream and producing strife. In other words, we need to be careful who we talk to, what we tell them, and that, even in our frustration, we resist the powerful urge to allow our venting to morph into gossip, slander, and/or accusation.
The Apostle James did not address his letter to teachers in today’s K-12 classrooms. He did, however, write to people who needed to understand how to live according to their faith in a time of great uncertainty. In his description of what living the Christian faith looks like, he doesn’t mince words in his section on keeping our tongues under control: “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3:6 NIV).
Strong words, for sure! They’re tough for a reason, though, and for our good. But with temptation so great and so many listening ears available, how do we keep ourselves from conforming to the pressure to stir conflict through the, rather enjoyable, company of our, also miserable, colleagues?
Respond
Offering no response is much better than an impulsive one that you will live to regret! As challenging and painful as it is, if we’re angry, frustrated, hurt, and/or passionate, it’s best to keep our mouths closed! I can think of so many times over the course of my own career when everything would have gone so much better for me if I had just kept my mouth shut and let God work it out. And, while I still struggle with it, I’m doing a much better job of not conforming to my instinctual response, opting instead, to just let it go and move on. It has been a difficult lesson, but I’ve learned the value in the painful truth in one of my favorite proverbs I gleaned from my Spanish-speaking friends, “En boca cerrada no entran moscas,” flies do not enter a closed mouth.
“Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.” (Prov. 21:23 NIV)
Recognize
Another lesson that seems to be exceptionally challenging for those of us in education to learn is this: we must recognize that, in reality, we are not in control of anything except our reactions to all the other things that happen.
If you continue reading through the epistle of James, you will read an illustration at the end of chapter 4 that clearly demonstrates this truth. James tells of a man who makes future plans, but fails to factor the will of God into those plans.
We all have plans for our future, the path we want our careers to take. But have we factored God into those plans? Is it possible that some of the changes that upset us the most are because God wants to move us in a direction that we don’t necessarily want to go, a direction that doesn’t fit into our plan, but that God knows is the best fit?
Perhaps if we included God’s will in our future plans we wouldn’t be so surprised when things fail to align with the plan we have set. When changes for which you did not plan come your way and you fly off the handle, you may be rejecting the next step of God’s plan for your life. I’m not suggesting that there is never a time that we should not oppose change, I’m suggesting that if you include God in your plans, you’re more likely to know when you should and when you shouldn’t.
Restrain
Teachers are often an unhappy lot, largely because we spend so much time talking about things we cannot control. This is why collaboration and meetings sometimes only produce discussions that are more about complaints than content, which only exacerbates discontentment.
One of my previous administrators established a standing rule in our meetings. She called it, “ELMO,” which stood for, “Everybody Let’s Move On.” If someone said, “ELMO,” we all knew to either refocus the conversation or change the topic altogether. What a great tool for times when collaborative planning becomes collective griping!
After all, it is up to us, each individual teacher, to curb the discord and clamor and find a way to work together that refocuses our attention on our jobs and our students, not the problems associated with our jobs. If you speak, let your words encourage colleagues or propose solutions, as James urges us, we should bless, not curse (James 3:10). If your words do not move the conversation toward productive goals, remember that silence can be the best option. After all, like mama says, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
“The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint.” (Prov. 17:27 NIV)
Final Thought
While teachers face unique challenges, these principles can help anyone glorify God in their workplace. No matter our job, we all have to deal with sudden changes we don’t like, and not a single one of us wants to. As Christians, though, how we deal with problems in our workplaces gives us an opportunity to show others around us the Truth. I’ve said many times, “Jesus told us to be salt and light. Neither of those make a sound.” Often, keeping our mouths shut does more for the cause of Christ than opening them ever will.
Prayer: Lord, it’s difficult to know how to deal with things that I can’t control. It’s difficult to deal with change. Help me to take my frustrations to You first, to speak words that honor You, and to trust Your plan in every change, so that others see Your work in me.
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